Most of us pets give our humans the paw as soon as vet time comes around. My pussy pal Sarah the Siamese gnaws the edge of a PJ drawer, while once upawn a time I used to take refuge deep, deep into my human Sage’s bed (it was stuffy but what the heck did I care – no see vet, vet no see me!). Your pet may start molting and whining at the word “vet”, but keep that appointment! Regular wellness exams are the most important thing (besides giving love, treats, and chew toys) you can do for your pet.

Every pet under the sun should have a wellness exam once per year. Every year in our lives is worth 5 to 7 of yours, which means our health can change super fast. Senior pets even need to be seen every 6 months. Regular wellness exams let your vet determine how your pet is, and ensure that there is no ailment that can harm them – or worsen. But ears up, critters: the vet’s bark is way worse than his/her bite. I say this confidently, and with experience.

Here’s a look at what goes on during your wellness exam:

Temper, Temper: Temperature is taken. Doggies and kitties should all rest around 100 – 102 F.

Beat It: Heartbeat is taken. Our heartbeats range according to size, anywhere from 100 – 260 beats per minute. Of course if we’re terrified our vet will take that into consideration, so not to worry. Everyone will know you’re not having a heart attack.

Breathe Easy: Breaths will be counted, too. Dogs 15 – 20 per minute, cats 20 – 30.

The Weigh In: Those of you tippers will be advised to go easy on the kibble.

Hear That: As we know from my older post (Now Hear This), our ears can be home for many pests. My vet gets right in there, for a real close look.

I’m Watching You: The eyes are the window to our health! My vet can tell all sorts of ailments from looking into mine: anemia, infections, glaucoma, cataracts, high blood pressure, jaundice, kidney problems and allergies.

At this point, exam almost done!

Don’t Be Mouthy: My vet pulls double duty, taking care of my body and my teeth. My vet inspects my mouth for plaque build-up, abnormalities, loose teeth, tumors, infections, gum disease, and bad words. She can always tell when I’ve been a potty mouth.

The Goodies: My vet grabs, I cough. I can’t help it. What else is a guy to do? My vet also looks for swellings, discharges and breast lumps (yes, not just the ladies).

Ok, one more to go!

The Skinny on Skin: Like humans, skin is the largest organ of an animal’s body. My vet knows how crazy I am about the great outdoors, which means I’m constantly coming home with scratches, bites, and even sometimes ticks. OMD, I even had a wart once. She totally took care of it, quickly and almost painlessly.

And then, your exam is dunzo!

So chill out, my furry friends. As I have exemplified, your wellness exam takes just a yip, and is over before you know it! If you’re really lucky your vet will have a treat waiting for you after. Visit forgotten.

And PS: what better place to meet bitches in need of a little comforting, than the waiting room? I know a lot of amazing union and reunion stories, all starting with that trip to the vet.

Let not a scary vet experience dog you more!

Be well, Buster